Full of energy last night, I decided to hit the cross-trainer.  I went to tell GF, so that she wouldn’t think I’d mischievously wandered off again … Just to explain as an aside, this is my new game!  It’s especially fun in department stores or when left outside shops  I often see how far I can get without her finding me!  I know, very very childish , but also very very satisfying!  I am also well aware that one day it is likely to end up with tears, my tears probably!

However, I was unable to find her.  A thought hit me – she must be in the bath.

True to form, I burst into the bathroom and let forth a torrent of extremely blokey, extremely graphic banter … Embarrassment prevents me from divulging precise details, but use your imagination – really go for it, and then add a bit!

“Sorry mum, it’s just Andy … I don’t think you were supposed to hear that!”

How was I to know she was on the phone!