A toast to Alfie

It’s been a horrible week as we lost Alfie on Sunday. I didn’t fully appreciate how upsetting it would be, nor how guilty I’d feel having been the one to make the decision to put him out of his misery.


We’re going out tonight for a family meal to wave the Twits off to uni and I dare say we’ll raise a glass or three to Alfie as well.


I’m not sure whether he ever figured out that I couldn’t see, or if he simply thought that I liked kicking him out of the way! Either way, I’ll miss you Alfredo.


In honour of my hairy wingman (as GF referred to him), here’s a few FB posts in which Alfie featured.


1 June 2014


Whilst taking Alfie for a walk this morning a motorist stopped and asked me for directions – I didn’t think I was the most obvious candidate for such a task, and I did point this out to him, but he insisted … Good luck sir, you’ll need it!!.


23 June 2014


Took Alfie out for a walk this morning and a small boy who was with his mother on the way to school asked me if I was looking for something under the ground. Apparently, he had never seen anyone with a white stick before!!


31 August 2014


I’ve heard it all now! I’ve just got back from taking our super manly attack dog Alfie, a puppy sized King Charles spaniel, for an evening stroll, where an old git had a go at me for not controlling my dog; apparently, his extendable lead was too long! When I asked why it was too long, he said that Alfie was going for him! I told him that he might get his knees licked to death but apart from that he had nothing to worry about. When he kept on having a go as he moved on, I’m afraid to report that I wasn’t quite so polite!!


27 November 2014


Well, I suppose it’s almost Pantomime season … I managed to lose the dog this morning after I took him off his lead to explore the grassy area in the lemony snicket, and all the time he was … yes, you’ve guessed it … behind me!! I really should put a bell on the little fecker!


12 March 2015


What a lovely windless still morning today. I’m not sure what time it gets light at these days, but it was most pleasant listening to all the birdsong when out with the dog this morning, even went on the long walk it was that nice. Roll on spring!!


10 May 2015


What a lovely still morning. At times on my walk this morning, apart from the noise of my stick whizzing across the pavement, the only sound was birdsong, very relaxing and uplifting for the soul. Perhaps that explains why I managed to walk 100 yards without using my stick, relying on Alfie the amateur guide dog instead…. unlike last night when I twatted my forehead on a lamp post after only five yards trying the same trick!! Or perhaps it was just something to do with blood alcohol levels … As the sages from Chumbawumba say, I get knocked down, but I get up again … literally in this instance!


3 November 2015


OMG!! I think Golden Balls has taken too many head shots at rugby, as he’s just set out to take the dog for a walk, but forgot the dog! Admittedly, he didn’t get far, but what a muppet!!


20 November 2015


Now that’s what I call a fog! I couldn’t see a fecking thing this morning. It took me ages to find the dog after I dropped the lead! Be careful on the roads you guys, please.


27 February 2016


Oh feck! A mile away from home with the dog and the end has just fallen off my stick! Now here’s where the Jedi training comes in handy!!


20 March 2016


Thanks to the old man who kindly highlighted my faux pas this morning as I was absent mindedly strolling along with the dog enjoying the sunshine and birdsong…. “Mate, you’re in the middle of the road!” All I could manage was a sheepish “thanks” and a rather embarrassed grin! Appears I must have stepped down a curb at a side street and was oblivious to having missed the up curb – whoops!!


Have I got dog breath??!!

Alfie, our beloved family dog, is sadly on his last legs and is struggling with his food at the moment; the result is a very, very, skinny, poorly dog. He won’t go anywhere near his usual food, but still wolfs down ham, chicken and cheese, and over the last few days even some of R’s popcorn and a Weetabix that J dropped on the floor! Even so, he is still losing weight.


In an attempt to prolong the inevitable, last night I served him chopped up chicken breast in a cereal bowl – he flipping loved it. This morning, I got up early to make him some rice and chicken to see if he’d take rice as well – he’d nibbled on a bit yesterday morning, but wasn’t really interested. As the rice boiled, I located the cereal bowl and placed it on the work surface; there was no point washing it, as I was only going to put more chicken and rice in it, I thought.


The smell of the rice made me hungry, so I started to prepare my granola/porridge oats/blueberries/strawberries/yoghurt concoction. I was a bit miffed though, as all I could find in the cupboard were my least favourite cereal bowls; we have two types, one made of thicker material and with a higher rim, the others being made of thinner material and with a lower rim – I prefer the former as I can fit more in without making a mess! When I say without making a mess, please note that this is of course relative – perhaps I should say without making a massive mess!!


Five minutes later, a right mess made on the work surface, my breakfast eaten and the rice boiled, I started to prepare Alfie’s meal. I located his dirty bowl on the work surface and started to transfer the rice from the pan. It was at this point that it struck me; the bowl I was filling up was a thinner lower rimmed type – Alfie’s bowl from last night was a thicker higher rimmed type. My stomach started to lurch as I checked the bowl from which I had just eaten my breakfast.


You’ve guessed it – I’d just eaten my lovely healthy breakfast out of my dog’s dirty breakfast bowl!!!!


OMG, I think I’m going to be sick…