What to do with a mountain of out-of-date granola bars?

Andy with mountain of granola bars
A few seemingly random facts need to be set out for the full glory of a single sentence containing a wonderfully innocent slip of the tongue to be appreciated fully:

Fact 1: R helps out feeding the homeless at a charity in Leeds.

Fact 2: GF recently mused whether the term “hobo” was short for anything.

Fact 3: J has recently complained that the granola bars which we have been eating from a box in the kitchen have a best before date of January 2016 – I thought they were slightly funky!

My cousin M went to Costco yesterday, as he does every month, where he picks up certain provisions for me. He called when he was there to tell me that the granola bars we like were half price – “I’ll have four boxes then please”!

After putting the new boxes away, and discussing whether we should continue to eat the out-of-date ones – “They don’t taste that bad dad” – R piped up: “I think there might be a box in the utility room on top of the pantry cupboard”.

I hoisted GF up, and once she’d recovered from smashing her head on the ceiling, she found that there were actually four boxes of bars on top of the cupboard, with dates ranging from September 2015 to January 2016! GF offered to try one – “very tasty” was the verdict! At the time of writing, GF doesn’t appear to be suffering any long-term ill-effects!

Discussions inevitably turned to what to do with the out-of-date bars; the “Yorkshire option” – we could continue to eat them (waste not want not); the “I didn’t know we’d won the lottery option” – we could throw them away; or the “Bob Geldof option” – we could give them to a deserving home.

“Could you use them at the charity?” GF asked R.

R didn’t know, but upon reflection, GF and I concluded that a charity would probably be a little reluctant to accept such out-of-date stock.

“That’s a pity”, said GF, “the homos would love them”!!!!

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